Page 8 - Black Velvet Rock Magazine Issue 102
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              people. It’s something that I’ve had to get  And of course where I grew up, it’s not nec-  peated positive affirmations of success yet
              past  and  more  recently…  When  I  was  essarily a thing. I wasn’t a vegan, I was just  his life ended up taking a different path.
              younger I just drank to try to not feel that  a  kid  who  hated  eating  meat.  My  parents  Andy says, “I think, to some degree, the
              way. More recently, I’ve had to deal with it. I  were at a loss because how do you get this  positivity when I was younger was more of a
              kind of have to laugh about it at this point,  kid  protein?  I  wouldn’t  eat  so  much  as  a  mask. It was a way of convincing myself that
              ‘cause making a joke about it is kind of the  hamburger; I hated it. The only meal I’d get  ‘I can get through this, I can do this, I can do
              best way to function with it, ‘cause I know it  at McDonalds was the chicken nuggets, I’d  this.’ The more I’ve grown in my life and I’ve
              is serious. I know it’s something that is an af-  never eat the hamburger. And then as I got  gotten older, it’s more exactly who I am in
              fliction that other people deal with as well,  older it just became… honestly, touring did  those moments. I generally am pretty happy
              but I want to be somebody that shows an ex-  a lot of it for me, I was always in some Euro-  to  be  around  the  people  that  I  like  being
              ample of someone that’s living with some-  pean country where we had some catering  around and I enjoy the time that I spend. I
              thing like that and can function and can be  and who knows what it is and I’m starving  have a lot of laughs in my life. I have a lot of
              happy and can make jokes about it and not  and this is it, so… and I ate it and I started to  opportunities to have fun, and when I was
              just feel like it’s the be all and end all, be-  get a taste for it, but I had to char the shit out  younger it was all about ‘I need to get past
              cause the truth is, you can live past those  of steaks. I had to make it so I couldn’t see  these things,’ so I’d write in a way that was
              moments and the things that you fear and  the blood or think about the fact that it was  almost inspirational to myself, writing things
              the upsets you fear and the regrets that you  an animal at some point. And the same goes  that were aspirational and hopes that I had
              have for every tiny little thing or the constant  for chicken. I could only eat chicken nuggets  of ‘I’m going to rise out of this darkness that
              dread that you feel, so long as you know how  or tenders, things that didn’t look like the an-  I feel,’ and that’s ultimately what connected
              to make yourself happy and find things that  imal. I needed to trick myself, so eventually I  with people in the first place. The audience
              can kind of circumvent that fear or anxiety.”  said,  well,  again,  ‘If  I’m  going  through  so  that we cultivated with Black Veil Brides in
                                                 much effort to eat something that was once  the early days were mostly people that felt
                    ndy  brings                                          alive making  similarly to what I was saying in the songs
                Aup  how  he     “If I can be a hero to anyone, it’s just  it look like it  and the kind of aggression that I had and
              used  drinking  to  to say that I am you and literally nothing  wasn’t, then I  going  on  stage  and  trying  to  fight  people
              avoid  feeling  anx-                                       should  just  every night and everything, those were the
              ious and to be able that I do on a daily basis is in any way  switch   to  things  that  came  along  with  the  idea  that
              to  socialize  easier  anything  that  isn’t  attainable  for  you  something  being the downtrodden and being this out-
              with others. This is                                       that   was  cast  group  that  I  was  defending.  At  this
              quite normal. A lot that you couldn’t do.” - Andy Black    never  alive  point, those things are all true for me, but in
              of people use drink-                                       and  eat  es-  a much more ethereal way. It would be very
              ing  as  a  crutch  in                                     sentially  the  hard for me to sit here and tell you about my
              social situations. Andy also smoked. He has  same things’. So that wasn’t hard. The drink-  teenage angst. I’m 28 years old. At this point,
              now given both of those up (along with eat-  ing was different only in the capacity that I  my angst comes from many other different
              ing meat).                         was so used to it and days like today where  types of things, but the one thing that’s al-
                “I  haven’t  smoked  a  cigarette  in  two  I’m playing a show or I’m tired, I would al-  ways remained true is that I feel like I’m dif-
              years, so this, [he holds an electronic ciga-  ways drink and kind of pick myself up that  ferent from a lot of people. I feel like when it
              rette  device]  it’s  funny  ‘cause  I  hate  the  way, which is obviously not real at all. It’s  just comes to social hues and things, I don’t
              whole vape thing, and it’s nothing against  mostly mental, the idea that ‘if I drink I’ll feel  pick up on them the way other people do and
              people that enjoy it, but for me, the flavours  better’ when in reality you’re just poisoning  I struggle in certain situations and that is the
              and all that, I can’t do it, so I have this and  yourself, so it’s not really making you feel  thing that I write about the most now. If you
              it’s flavourless, just nicotine.” He tells us,  any better. But that was not difficult because  look at ‘The Shadow Side’ or ‘The Ghost Of
              “You can adjust the amount of nicotine that’s  I had decided that I was going to not do it  Ohio’ it’s not so much about charging into
              in it, so I started with 6% when I first quit  anymore and when I decide that I’m done  the night fighting against the evil bullies, it’s
              smoking and now I’m down to 3% nicotine,  with something I tend to be pretty good at it.  more about dealing with the bullies in your
              so I’m trying to cut down. My goal ultimately  I’m  pretty  good  at  stopping  doing  some-  mind, the things that you do to yourself.”
              is to not have anything. I don’t want to be a  thing. So, who knows what’s next.”
              smoker of any kind. But yeah, I smoked a                                    here’s a song on ‘The Ghost Of Ohio’
              pack and a half of cigarettes every single day  t was late 2014/early 2015 when Andy  Tcalled ‘Heroes We Were’. It’s a song
              from  the  time  I  was  13.  The  fact  that  I’ve  Irealized it’d been a good two or three  that  shows  how  seriously Andy  takes  his
              switched  to  not  having  a  cigarette  in  two  years since he had really felt like himself.  own rise into a known rock singer, acquiring
              years is a pretty big accomplishment for me  Things weren’t quite right. “We were touring  ‘hero’ status,  even  though  he  doesn’t  see
              personally. I just got sick of it. Like many  constantly and I just spiraled off into drink-  himself as heroic at all. “I struggle with idol
              things, as you get older your tastes change.  ing  a  lot  and  trying  to  run  away  from  my  worship  and  I  don’t  love  idol  worship  be-
              You like broccoli when you didn’t like it be-  demons  and  everything.” Andy  could  feel  cause I feel sometimes it leads people to the
              fore. I think that just happened with me and  that he was running away from who he really  wrong  impressions  that  these  jobs  or  ca-
              cigarettes  quite  honestly.  I  always  knew  I  was. “I started to look back on my past with  reers are somehow unattainable. I really try
              wanted to quit. I never saw myself as a life-  a hugely negative connotation. I started to  and  make  it  clear,  especially  recently,  be-
              time smoker, but I just stopped liking it. One  look at even my adolescence, ‘Oh, I was al-  cause I feel it’s important; nothing that I do
              of the things about smoking was that I really  ways a loner and always so sad,’ and I wasn’t  is  in  any  way  remarkable.  I  just  wanted
              enjoyed it. I liked the taste, I liked the act of  really looking at the positives. I wasn’t see-  things to happen a little bit more than some
              it, I liked everything about it. I just personally  ing how close I am with my family. I wasn’t  of the people around me, and I was willing to
              didn’t like it anymore. I’d be sitting there writ-  seeing how I really enjoy being in my home-  put in the time and effort. There’s a certain
              ing a song and smoking cigarettes and it just  town and all that kind of stuff. I was just see-  amount of luck that goes into it, and obvi-
              wasn’t enjoyable for me anymore, so it just  ing everything as ‘that sucked,’ and ‘this is  ously…  the  genetics  of  one  person,  ‘he’s
              seemed like, well, if I don’t even like this any-  the  new  me,’  kind  of  thing.  And  I  kind  of  maybe  handsome,’  or  ‘she’s  beautiful,’  or
              more,  what  am  I  doing?  So  I  just  kind  of  hated the new me. I wanted to be the old me.  whatever it is, those are things that may pre-
              weaned  myself  off  gradually  and  then  And so a big part of the last couple of years  determine  someone  to  have  success  at  a
              switched to this and then hopefully in the  has been trying to remember to not stray too  larger scale. Whether that’s fair or not, those
              next, let’s say, another two years, I’ll be off  far from who I was initially and the kid that  are the things that we culturally look at and
              of this.”                          was  sitting  in  his  room  painting  little  fig-  go, ‘Oh, that person gets a pass,’ but that
                We ask Andy what the hardest change  urines and stuff. When you realize that the  doesn’t mean that the work isn’t there and it
              he’s made is. “The meat thing didn’t bother  pursuit of being cool is entirely fruitless, life  doesn’t mean that, if you are someone that
              me at all,” he says, in regards to becoming  becomes a lot easier. If you’re not worried  maybe doesn’t see themselves as so signif-
              vegetarian (Andy is ‘mostly vegan’, saying  about how you can be cooler than somebody  icantly beautiful you can’t reach the heights
              he is almost 100% vegan although occasion-  else or how you can be a rock star, chances  that you want to, whether it’s being a rock
              ally a little dairy may get into a product he  are you’ll have a better time doing this job.”  star or whatever else. The reason I bring that
              eats/drinks while on tour). “Eating meat was  That time inspired the song ‘The Prom-  up is because when I say to people ‘I do this
              harder for me than not eating meat. I didn’t  ise’,  which  is  a  song  about  being  the  or that,’ nothing that I do is particularly spe-
              eat meat at all when I was a kid. I refused.  teenager  that  he  was  in  Ohio,  how  he  re-  cial  or  whatever.  People  go,  ‘Oh  well,  it’s
                ANDY BLACK
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